Dear Marmie & Ryan

 Your wedding day was perfect, a beautiful affair,

Every detail was lovely and cannot be compared.

The flowers, the music, the moments of pure bliss,

The looks on your faces, no one could miss.

The lace on your dress, the look in your eyes,

Marmie you made such a beautiful Bride!

The love and devotion shown from your face,

The first time Ryan saw you, it took his breath away.

The vows that you made, to have and to hold,

Will hold true forever, no matter what the future unfolds.

August 6, 2011 will always be a special day for you,

And may you remember forever the promises you hold true.

Skinny margaritas and Mint Julips, too,

A night from Kentucky—it was so you!

Dancing, celebrating, and posing for the photo booth,

It was a fabulous time for all—this is the truth!

The love that you share,

Was such an unforgettable sight to see.

And everyone who was there,

Was so happy to witness the beginning of your journey.

A life full of love,

And adventures untold,

Moments of tears, but of laughter tenfold.

With your best friend by your side,

And your future ahead,

Dear Marmie and Ryan:

There is just one thing that is left unsaid.

Congratulations, Dear Friends, on beginning this chapter,

May your life be full of love, and a whole lot of laughter.

Today is the first day of forever together,

May each day, each moment you share, only get better.

20/20

Brian and I, over a year ago, made the road trip from my parent’s home in Kansas up to Cleveland which would be our adopted hometown for the following six months. On our way up, we heard a Bowling for Soup song on the radio called, “Ohio (Come Back to Texas)” and all we could do was laugh at the irony in this lyrical tribute to our lives:

“She said she needed a break,
A little time to think.
But then she went to Cleveland
With some guy named Leelan (Brian)
That she met at the bank (Matitto’s).

There's nothing wrong with Ohio…
Except the snow and the rain.
I really like Drew Carey
And I'd love the Scene, the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame!

So when you're done doing whatever,
And when you're through seeing whoever,
You know Denton (Dallas) County will be right here waiting for you....

Come back to Texas!
It's just not the same since you went away,
Before you lose your accent
And forget all about the Lonestar State!
There's a seat for you at the rodeo,
And I've got every slow dance saved.
Besides the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway.

I think I made a mistake.
It's not that easy to take.
She went to make a deposit,
Then she cleaned out her closet
Guess I'll sit here and wait.

For her to come back home,
It shouldn't take very long,
I bet she misses the sunrise,
And Mrs. Baird's fruit pies but I could be wrong…

Troy Aikmen (Abbie) wants you back.
Willie Nelson (Pat Green) wants you back.
NASA (haha, yeah right) wants you back.
And the Bush twins want you back.
And Pantera (Pokey-o’s) wants you back.
And Blue Bell wants you back.

I got a premonition
I'm taking a petition
And the whole state's gonna sign!!”

**rephrased just a bit.

I laughed because otherwise I would have cried. Moving to Cleveland was a very difficult time, a huge leap of faith for me. I left behind my family, my friends, my life. I was very lonely and discouraged by the difficulty in finding a job and in building relationships.

But that was then. And hindsight, as always, is 20/20. Now I can see the tremendous blessing that was my time in Cleveland, Ohio. Brian and I learned to lean on each other, and to support one another through both our shared and our separate difficulties.  We took advantage of the beautiful summer and now, being in a near record-breaking hot summer in Dallas, we appreciate it all the more. This is why I have created a Top-10 list about our six months in Cleveland. The best parts about it, the parts I appreciate and yes, even miss, just a little.

10. The “Becca” Bridge--The view from my condo overlooked downtown and there was this beautiful bridge across the Cuyahoga River that I deemed as mine because I loved looking at it in all lights of the day, and used to run across it on my runs with Frog Dog.

9.  Browns, and Indians Games—the only place I ever lived that I could walk from my house to watch the MLB and the NFL, I could have walked to the Cavs arena too, but who wanted to go there after “The Decision” last summer?!

8. Buffalo mac n cheese at Barley House—so, so good.

7. Sailing on Lake Erie with Brian’s co-workers & rowing on the Cuyahoga with our crew team, not to mention winning our regatta!

6. The beautiful metro parks—we biked and hiked and explored all summer and fall.

5. Experiencing fall for the first time since 2^nd grade & taking advantage of the gorgeous summer weather
4. My job at Cleveland Magazine—I absolutely loved what I did, and everyone I worked with. Events at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and at 688 were such great experiences.

3. Junior League friends/ Dg Friends/ Christia—miss you girls!!

2. Gaining the smallest/ cutest member of the family—FrogDog! Seriously the best dog ever.

1. Being so close to Michigan, getting to know the Tochman/ Hogge side of my family and all of our date trips to MSU!! Go Green!

Cleveland was a season, a quick six months of my life. But looking back, I learned so much, met so many wonderful people, and really grew as an individual. I am so thankful for that time, and look back on it very fondly. I miss a lot of the advantages of living up there—especially weekends on the lake!

Now I realize that that time with Brian, his parents, our friends and co-workers was a tremendous blessing; a gift. I am SO thankful to be in Dallas, and appreciate it so much more after leaving, but will never regret my time away. And as hardships and times of loneliness and despair arise in the future (which they inevitably will), I will remember my time in Cleveland and how much it now means to me. The lessons that were so hard and difficult to learn at the time, are now sweet remembrances of how far I have come, and are instilled in me as I continue to grow and to learn.

Hindsight is 20/20 and now I am able to thank God for that time, for how it has shaped me now, and for how it has prepared me for my future.

Football Fan(atic)

Crisp air.  Cool breeze. Clear blue skies. Painted faces. Pumped up players, crowd chants, packed bleachers and devoted fans.

Some of my favorite aspects of my favorite sport: Football. 

I love the camaraderie that football brings to its fans. I love watching the ball slowly, painfully, make its way down the field. And then the very next possession is a quick pass for a touchdown. The quarterback calls plays and reads the field like a general going in to battle. The running back swiftly and nimbly cuts through the defensive linemen as he works his way down the field, yard by yard. The cornerback, deflects passes and intercepts for game-changing turnovers. The refs and the coaches negotiate back and forth, and every fan in the stands offers their expert opinion on each call.

It is a virtuoso sixty minutes.

Whether college or pro, whether SMU, Texas, K-State, Michigan State, or the New England Patriots—I am a fan. My earliest childhood memories were watching Monday night football with my dad and brothers. The Patriots are our team...and historically, the Buffalo Bills, as well. Some of my favorite high school memories are K-State tailgates and games with my brother and family. In college it was SMU and Texas, and now I’ve added Michigan State to my repertoire of teams. I love my teams, all of them.

I love the energy and excitement of a football game. I can sit in the stands or watch on TV, either way, a day watching football is a day well spent. I love that, in my mind, football and fall are inextricably linked, and that I cannot imagine one without the other. I love watching the season progress, and just as the leaves change and the temperatures drop, so the rankings and the statistics of my teams are unpredictable yet inevitable.

Football is a way of life. A way to get through a long Monday and a way to spend an entire Saturday. When everything else in this world is turbulent and every news station is reporting the latest widespread devastation—by natural or political causes, the game of football does not change. Games are aired every week, and every team has a chance to redeem themselves, game after game. Every fan has the equal opportunity to revel in the unbelievable game-winning catch, and to commiserate with their fellow fans at a fumble that threw the game.

Whoever your team is, whatever league and division they are in, it is great to be a football fan.

The Sky is the Limit

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! 
~Audrey Hepburn 

A life Well Lived

I find myself wondering on many a Monday morning what the point of it all is. Going to work, day after day, week after week and month after month begins to feel monotonous and purposeless. Does the little bit I contribute to my company make a difference? Do I have an impact on anyone or anything in my position?

Somedays I really don't know.

But, while Brian and I were in Kansas with my family this last weekend, we went to the church that I grew up in and it just so happened to be Pastor Andrus' last Sunday behind the pulpit. After four decades of preaching in this church, and many others, he was finally retiring and passing the torch.

His message was on legacy and transition, and, as always, it was very challenging and applicable. But the moment I will never forget was the benediction. An associate pastor came up to give him some accolades and to end the service in prayer. As he finished, the entire congregation rose for a standing ovation. And it continued. For probably five solid minutes this man was honored by the applause of his congregation. The people he had dedicated his life to serve. The people he had spent long, hard nights with. Cried with, rejoiced with, grieved with and prayed with. He had poured his life in to these people, and they were, in some small way, thanking him for his time, energy, prayer, and wise words on their behalf.

It was moving to witness such a life well lived.

Now, I know not everyone's retirement is such a public event, witnessed by thousands, but I really do believe that everyone has the opportunity to impact the lives of people around them. I have no desire or ambitions to become a pastor, but I do believe that I can serve the people around me, right where I am at. When I come to retirement, there will not be thousands to witness my last day, there will be no standing ovation, nor accolades recited. But, will there be people out there to say that I helped them in some small way? I made their life, or even just their day, better? I did everything I could to put my time and energy in to their lives, that I loved and believed in them? I truly hope so.

Whether I am an assistant, manager, CEO or a stay at home mom. Wherever I am, whatever I do, I hope that I serve others, love them, and help them to the best of my ability.

I hope I have a life well lived.

When You Call My Name Out Loud

"Would you be the wind to blow me home?

Would you be a dream
On the wings of a poem?
And if we were walking through a crowd,
Well you know I'd be proud...
If you call my name out loud.


Do you suppose that I would come running..
Do you suppose I'd come at all?
I suppose I would."


I just love this Dispatch song. Lately I have been listening to a lot of very simple acoustic songs with the hope that it would inspire me to pick up my guitar again...


But that is an aside.


One very underestimated change I've dealt with since getting married is my name change. My whole life I have been Rebecca Marie Mahoney, (and literally that full name when I was in trouble, in other words--often). But those days are over. Thanks to the Social Security Card I received in the mail yesterday, I am now officially Rebecca Mahoney Tochman!! 


No hyphen, no combined last name. I dropped 'Marie' and now have a new middle name. 


That was a very hard day for me...at first. I absolutely LOVE 'Mahoney' because of all that it represents. It reminds me of our family of six (which has grown to eleven, and will continue to expand...), and the cross country road trips we went on. The many, many moves we braved together, our snow forts and family vacations to National Parks, the Caribbean and Europe. It reminds me of our petty sibling spats, and our car-pooling each other to school as we learned to drive.


But that was a different time. And just as my two lovely sisters-in-law entered our family (followed by my cute-as-can-be niece and nephew!!), and our family only got bigger and better, so now again, things must change. 


I have come to realize that I am still a Mahoney. I still have those childhood memories and I still have my loving and supportive family. But now it is new and improved. I have two sets of parents, five wonderful siblings, and one amazing husband. A name is not what binds us, it is the love, trust, encouragement, and faith we share that holds us together.


When Brian proposed to me, he offered me a new family, our family. We are apart of the Tochmans' and the Mahoneys', but we are also our own entity. And I am SO proud to be his wife, to have his name.  It is no loss at all, but only gain, and that is what I have realized as I have looked at my new name on my card.


I am so thankful for all of the support he and I have as we start our life together and I know that no matter what, our families will be there for us. 


So I am officially a Tochman. And so very proud of that fact.

I and Love and You

Three little words. Incomprehensible potency.

At our wedding, our pastor challenged us to say those words in the hardest of times. To love the other person as they become the worst version of themselves. He was not talking about an emotion.

He was talking about a decision. Love is a daily decision. A choice one makes to support the other person, to be patient and kind. To not be boastful or proud or envious. To not keep a record of wrongs, but to be truthful. To always protect. Always hope. Always trust. Always persevere.

It never fails.

I and Love and You are words that carry with them a promise. A promise to never leave, to never begrudge, to never give up.

I and Love and You are words that create a safe place. A place where you will be forgiven, where you will be comforted, where you will be cared for.

I and Love and You

Yes, they are potent words. A covenant between to people. A choice to withstand the hard times and move on. A choice to love.