The Girl with the Big Pink Bow

I remember the day I started first grade. We were living in  Philadelphia at the time and I went to class in a pretty little dress with flowers on it, something that is oh-so-appropriate for a little girl in South Texas (where we had moved from).

Not so on the East Coast. All the kids laughed and made fun of the big pink bow I had in my hair. It’s as if they all new exactly what to do, what to expect, how to dress and how to act. And I was way behind the curve. I’ll never forget that feeling.

I remember moving back to Kansas (for the second time) and trying to catch up where I left off with friends I had once had…but it was different—they had changed and so had I---and again, I was the new girl.

Going to SMU, not knowing a single person, made me feel like I had that big bow In my hair all over again.

And finally, starting a job in Cleveland, than another one in Dallas, and now one at Hilton Worldwide—I’m bringing the bow back three more times.

For much of my life, I feel as though I have had to play catch-up. Everyone around me has always  seemingly been on a level playing field where as I am struggling to understand, to become acquainted with the people and the environment that surrounds me. It’s like there is a handbook that I have not been privy to--one with all the answers--that I have never been able to figure out.

Now, do not misconstrue what the purpose of this soliloquy is. I am not feeling sorry for myself. If anything, I am thankful for the perpetual and unanticipated changes I have had to absorb throughout my life…and this is for two specific reasons.

One, is that I can adapt. I do know how to deal with change, how to be new, how to reach out for help, and how to make connections and relationships. Adapting is something I am very well-versed in.

The second reason I am thankful for the change I’ve dealt with is because it makes me realize how amazing it is to be grounded somewhere. To be able to put down roots. To have a husband who is so steady and just takes life as it comes, a home that is truly mine, friends that I can call anytime for anything, and a family that does not need to be physically close by to be a permanent fixture in my life.

Apart of me will probably always feel like I have a big pink bow in my hair and that I am transparently new and inexperienced. But I am willing  to accept the challenge to learn, to grow, to change and to adapt.