Writing God out of My Story

I love to write. This is probably an obvious fact to most, considering I have a blog, multiple journals, and a “Word of the Day” app on my iPhone.  I never claim to be an exemplary writer, but the art of expressing myself on paper is a passion of mine; one that I love developing.


Therefore, it should come of no surprise that I view my life as a story unfolding. There are chapters, characters, and plot lines (think: ‘The Adventures of Learning to Drive’, or ‘How to Cram for Finals 101’, or even ‘Welcome to the Real World’ and ‘Kissing Childhood Goodbye’). The older I get, the more clear my retrospect concerning past chapters becomes, and conversely, the more exciting yet complicated future chapters seem.


There have been many chapters that have come and gone, and likewise, people and relationships. I look back on some of the friends I had through school, who have been all but completely written out of my story now (largely due to the many moves my family made as I grew up). I reflect on some of the issues I have struggled with that now seem just like mere bumps in the road. I think about some of the passions I have developed; the ones I have maintained versus the ones I have abandoned over the years.


In the midst of all the change, there have been some constants.
My family, first and foremost. No matter what happens, or where life takes me, I have them.
My fiancé, who has become my rock, and soon- to- be partner for life.
My restlessness. By nature, I am an active person, but also a restless one, continually looking for the next challenge or inspiration.
And, most importantly, my faith.                                                       


Throughout the years I have developed a relationship with God and so often turn to Him…in times of need. But I am also the first to write Him out of my story when things are going well. When I am happy, feel purpose and drive in my job and daily activities, and fulfilled in my close relationships, God tends to be placed in my reservoir of “I’ll-get-to-that-later” passions. However, like many aspects of life, He is anything but convenient, and should not be treated as such.


I have learned that when things are best, I need Him most. When I rely solely on myself, is when I find myself in the most trouble, the most vulnerable. As a writer, I have recorded much of my life, which makes it very tangible to look back on.  And I have noticed patterns throughout my life, one of the biggest being my response to adversity. I do turn to God during hard times, and I have noticed that that is when I grow the most. I develop endurance and perseverance, and my faith strengthens.


This being said, I do not wish the hard times upon myself (and I also recognize what a tremendously blessed life I have led, and how protected from pain I have been), but I do desire for myself a steady faith, a constant theme throughout my life of God being the Author, rather than myself.


Because, in the end, even if I write Him off, He will never do the same to me.